It's hard for me to believe that I have only two weeks left for the fall semester. Even knowing that it always seems like semesters go by much quicker in college than they did in high school, this one still seems fast. Pretty soon the fall of 2008 will be history and I will continue my journey towards a bachelor's degree with a new slate of classes to take.
The last few months have actually gone much better than I expected. This semester has gone by with absolutely no burnout and very little stress. Since both of these conditions are as common to college as textbooks, this comes as a major surprise. I haven't even thought about changing my major, and if anything I am more reassured that I have made the right choice. For the longest time, I changed my mind on what I wanted to do literally every few days. I never was sure about anything, but now I wake up in the morning and I look forward to studying history. What could be more reassuring than that?
I think taking a year off really made all the difference. A person can't get through college without motivation, and back then I didn't have very much of that. I found excuses to not go to class, put assignments off for way too long, cut corners, and never studied. I developed a lot of bad habits, and while I was never a bad student, I was never a good one. After I realized I had been to college for 3 years and had little to show for it, spent over a year working a job that I didn't like, and saw my high school peers graduating and going on to bigger and better things while I was left working at a thrift store I obviously gained my much-needed motivation.
And it worked. I made up my mind that it was time to grow up, time to own up to my responsibilities. A specific turning point that set my head straight was the day that I found out my financial aid fell through and I wouldn't be able to attend UAH this year. I took lunch that day and walked over to Jack's, frustrated and disappointed. Nothing had gone right for me. I sat there and, upon realizing that I would be taking a step back to community college for a year, made up my mind to not settle for anything less than excellence. For the first time in my life I actually set a goal: A's in every class. I told myself that the subjects I would take that fall would become my life focus.
Looking back on it now, I may not actually reach that goal, but I am going to be very close. Some people just learn things the hard way. And I know that this semester I've made some mistakes. Sometimes I neglected my studies, sometimes I procrastinated too much. Other times I let my mind wander in class, I got lazy, I let myself lose focus. But it encourages me that I've been able to correct a lot of problems I had before and, even with my mistakes, I'm still doing very well.
So on that day (if and when it ever comes) I get my degree, I am going to be very happy. I may be up to my neck in debt for college loans, but I will still be happy. It will be worth it.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The Alchemy Index
I thought that I would post some song lyrics on here in case anybody felt like reading some pretty thoughtful and profound poetry. I find lyrics to be way too simple, cheesy, or abstract sometimes, and many times I don't even pay attention to the lyrics to songs. It is uncanny how much I like these lyrics though. I posted one song earlier this year. They were written by Dustin Kensrue of Thrice. Each is from one of a set of four discs, and each disc is based on one of the four elements - fire, water, air, and earth. The final songs on each disc are all similar in their structure and they kind of sum up the entire album. If anybody has been wondering when I was going to take a break from all the cynical, political posts, this one is for you.
The Flame Deluge (Fire)
I feel that I was meant for something more;
My curse, this awful power to unmake.
And ever since you found your taste for war,
You've forced me onto those whose lives you'd take.
While Guernica in peaceful valley lay,
And Dresden dreamed of anything but death,
The day was turned to night, and night to day;
You let me loose upon their fragile flesh.
And so I hid among the smallest things;
You found me there and ferried me above.
The flame deluge is waiting in the wings;
The smallest thread holds back the second flood.
And who will stand to greet the blinding light;
It's lonely when there's no one left to fight.
Kings Upon The Main (Water)
This lesson you'd do well not to forget.
Your life could be the one it's wisdom saves,
At sea, when you're beleaguered and beset,
On every side by strife of wind and waves.
Despite the best of maps and bravest men,
For all their mighty names and massive forms,
There'll never be and there has never been
A ship or fleet secure against the storms.
When kings upon the main have clung to pride,
And held themselves as masters of the sea,
I've held them down beneath the crushing tide
Till they have learned that no one masters me.
But grace can still be found within the gale;
With fear and reverence, raise your ragged sail.
Silver Wings (Air)
From tender years you took me for granted.
But still I deigned to wander through your lungs.
While you were sleeping soundly in your bed,
(Your drapes were silver wings, your shutters flung)
I drew the poison from the summer's sting,
And eased the fire out of your fevered skin.
I moved in you and stirred your soul to sing;
And if you'd let me I would move again.
I've danced 'tween sunlit strands of lover's hair;
Helped form the final words before your death.
I've pitied you and plied your sails with air;
Gave blessings when you rose upon my breath.
And after all of this I am amazed,
That I am cursed far more than I am praised.
Child of Dust (Earth)
Dear prodigal, you are my son and I
Supplied you not your spirit, but your shape.
All Eden's wealth arrayed before your eyes;
I fathomed not you wanted to escape.
And though I only ever gave you love,
Like every child you've chosen to rebel.
Uprooted flow'rs and filled the holes with blood;
Ask not for whom they toll, the solemn bells.
A child of dust, to mother now return;
For every seed must die before it grows.
And though above the world may toil and turn,
No prying spades will find you here below.
Now safe beneath their wisdom and their feet,
Here I will teach you truly how to sleep.
The Flame Deluge (Fire)
I feel that I was meant for something more;
My curse, this awful power to unmake.
And ever since you found your taste for war,
You've forced me onto those whose lives you'd take.
While Guernica in peaceful valley lay,
And Dresden dreamed of anything but death,
The day was turned to night, and night to day;
You let me loose upon their fragile flesh.
And so I hid among the smallest things;
You found me there and ferried me above.
The flame deluge is waiting in the wings;
The smallest thread holds back the second flood.
And who will stand to greet the blinding light;
It's lonely when there's no one left to fight.
Kings Upon The Main (Water)
This lesson you'd do well not to forget.
Your life could be the one it's wisdom saves,
At sea, when you're beleaguered and beset,
On every side by strife of wind and waves.
Despite the best of maps and bravest men,
For all their mighty names and massive forms,
There'll never be and there has never been
A ship or fleet secure against the storms.
When kings upon the main have clung to pride,
And held themselves as masters of the sea,
I've held them down beneath the crushing tide
Till they have learned that no one masters me.
But grace can still be found within the gale;
With fear and reverence, raise your ragged sail.
Silver Wings (Air)
From tender years you took me for granted.
But still I deigned to wander through your lungs.
While you were sleeping soundly in your bed,
(Your drapes were silver wings, your shutters flung)
I drew the poison from the summer's sting,
And eased the fire out of your fevered skin.
I moved in you and stirred your soul to sing;
And if you'd let me I would move again.
I've danced 'tween sunlit strands of lover's hair;
Helped form the final words before your death.
I've pitied you and plied your sails with air;
Gave blessings when you rose upon my breath.
And after all of this I am amazed,
That I am cursed far more than I am praised.
Child of Dust (Earth)
Dear prodigal, you are my son and I
Supplied you not your spirit, but your shape.
All Eden's wealth arrayed before your eyes;
I fathomed not you wanted to escape.
And though I only ever gave you love,
Like every child you've chosen to rebel.
Uprooted flow'rs and filled the holes with blood;
Ask not for whom they toll, the solemn bells.
A child of dust, to mother now return;
For every seed must die before it grows.
And though above the world may toil and turn,
No prying spades will find you here below.
Now safe beneath their wisdom and their feet,
Here I will teach you truly how to sleep.
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Abuse of Power
I live in a dry county. Businesses can't sell alcohol here. On election day, we had a chance to vote on whether to stay dry or not, and by a 60/40 percentage margin we voted to stay dry. Before the vote, a person couldn't drive down a road in Blount County without seeing either a "vote yes" or "vote no" sign. It was obvious where the line was split: churches were saying no and gas stations were saying yes. Some of these signs are still lingering around on the sides of roads. Yesterday I was driving on 231 and I saw one that said "What would Jesus do? Vote no on alcohol sales Nov. 4." I was confused. Jesus drank wine. He even turned some water into it at a wedding. Is it really that obvious what Jesus would do? Would he really go to the polls and vote for Blount County to stay dry?
I bring this up because I think that people should be careful about pairing up their own causes with the cause of Christ. You can definitely control people if you can get them to believe that God's will is the same as yours. This is especially true when it comes to politics.
I have said before that it is hard for me to listen to Christian radio without getting angry. Since I work at a place where Christian radio is played almost all the time, I can't avoid it. I have several reasons for my frustration - some good, some not - a lot of it probably has to do with me being forced to listen to it all day and then needing to vent. It's true, I am a little bitter, but I do have reasonable complaints.
It's no secret that I have supported Barack Obama in this election. I'm not surprising anyone there. If you were to ask me I would tell you that I voted Obama both in the election and the Democratic primary. But let me make it clear that what I am saying is that I support Obama. I am not speaking for anyone but myself. And while my faith has a lot to do with my decision, I am never going to say that God supports Obama.
Christian radio, at least the station I listen to, is different. During the weeks and months when John McCain and Barack Obama were campaigning, WDJC would occasionally have a report or ad providing coverage. Every time I heard one of these reports, it was always slanted in favor of John McCain. He was always the clear, good guy. He was our guy - the Christian guy. And Barack Obama was that shady, liberal, other guy. From the coverage I heard, WDJC might as well have come out and officially endorsed McCain. It was that obvious.
I have a problem with Christian institutions supporting candidates like this. So many people around here listen to Christian radio because it's Christian radio. And of course they associate Christian with Jesus and therefore the DJs, advertisements, and songwriters might as well be speaking for God. When you, as a Christian radio station, support a politician like that you are basically saying to your listeners, "Vote for so-and-so because he is the Christian candidate. If you are a Christian, then this is your guy."
The problem with this lies in the ownership of WDJC. I'm not talking about God, I'm talking about a man named Don Crawford. Crawford Broadcasting is the corporation that runs the station. WDJC may be a ministry in some ways. You can call it whatever you want - it's still a business. Not only does Crawford Broadcasting run Christian radio stations all over the country, but it also is invested in another type of radio genre - conservative talk radio.
While there are those who think these two are one and the same, they're not. Christians come in a variety of flavors. Some are conservative, some are liberal, some are in between. Some say to-may-to, some say to-mah-to. All have their own Bible-based reasons for their own views. God lives and loves and works inside of them all.
On the radio, everyday during the commercials, Don Crawford has one little segment called The Crawford Stand, which is basically him talking about and promoting conservative ideals - on a Christian medium. It would be like a company with a liberal owner also controlling a Christian radio station and using it to promote liberal ideals. Both situations are bad. The masses are given one take on things and it is presented as the Christian take on things. There is no rebuttal, no counter-argument, no antithesis, and no one to object - because the guy pulling the strings is in control of what the listeners hear. And the guy at WDJC is an intense conservative. During the election process there was no hint of the possibility that Barack Obama, or Ralph Nader, or any other candidate other than the Republican would have possibly made a better president. Christian listeners all around central Alabama were presented with only one viewpoint.
That's not teaching you how to think, it's telling you what to think.
God is not a Republican. He is not a Democrat, or Independent, or even American for that matter. He doesn't work on a campaign trail. He is God over the entire world. A person may act and choose and vote based on his or her faith, but that does not mean that God always supports that person's cause. He is much bigger than that.
If WDJC can't be fair and objective, then it shouldn't cover politics at all. Just keep playing the music, promoting concerts, and giving out t-shirts as prizes for stupid games. Don't promote an agenda, don't tell people what to think. Let us pray and talk and decide on our own. Being at the head of a mass media company is a powerful position to hold.
So stop abusing it.
I bring this up because I think that people should be careful about pairing up their own causes with the cause of Christ. You can definitely control people if you can get them to believe that God's will is the same as yours. This is especially true when it comes to politics.
I have said before that it is hard for me to listen to Christian radio without getting angry. Since I work at a place where Christian radio is played almost all the time, I can't avoid it. I have several reasons for my frustration - some good, some not - a lot of it probably has to do with me being forced to listen to it all day and then needing to vent. It's true, I am a little bitter, but I do have reasonable complaints.
It's no secret that I have supported Barack Obama in this election. I'm not surprising anyone there. If you were to ask me I would tell you that I voted Obama both in the election and the Democratic primary. But let me make it clear that what I am saying is that I support Obama. I am not speaking for anyone but myself. And while my faith has a lot to do with my decision, I am never going to say that God supports Obama.
Christian radio, at least the station I listen to, is different. During the weeks and months when John McCain and Barack Obama were campaigning, WDJC would occasionally have a report or ad providing coverage. Every time I heard one of these reports, it was always slanted in favor of John McCain. He was always the clear, good guy. He was our guy - the Christian guy. And Barack Obama was that shady, liberal, other guy. From the coverage I heard, WDJC might as well have come out and officially endorsed McCain. It was that obvious.
I have a problem with Christian institutions supporting candidates like this. So many people around here listen to Christian radio because it's Christian radio. And of course they associate Christian with Jesus and therefore the DJs, advertisements, and songwriters might as well be speaking for God. When you, as a Christian radio station, support a politician like that you are basically saying to your listeners, "Vote for so-and-so because he is the Christian candidate. If you are a Christian, then this is your guy."
The problem with this lies in the ownership of WDJC. I'm not talking about God, I'm talking about a man named Don Crawford. Crawford Broadcasting is the corporation that runs the station. WDJC may be a ministry in some ways. You can call it whatever you want - it's still a business. Not only does Crawford Broadcasting run Christian radio stations all over the country, but it also is invested in another type of radio genre - conservative talk radio.
While there are those who think these two are one and the same, they're not. Christians come in a variety of flavors. Some are conservative, some are liberal, some are in between. Some say to-may-to, some say to-mah-to. All have their own Bible-based reasons for their own views. God lives and loves and works inside of them all.
On the radio, everyday during the commercials, Don Crawford has one little segment called The Crawford Stand, which is basically him talking about and promoting conservative ideals - on a Christian medium. It would be like a company with a liberal owner also controlling a Christian radio station and using it to promote liberal ideals. Both situations are bad. The masses are given one take on things and it is presented as the Christian take on things. There is no rebuttal, no counter-argument, no antithesis, and no one to object - because the guy pulling the strings is in control of what the listeners hear. And the guy at WDJC is an intense conservative. During the election process there was no hint of the possibility that Barack Obama, or Ralph Nader, or any other candidate other than the Republican would have possibly made a better president. Christian listeners all around central Alabama were presented with only one viewpoint.
That's not teaching you how to think, it's telling you what to think.
God is not a Republican. He is not a Democrat, or Independent, or even American for that matter. He doesn't work on a campaign trail. He is God over the entire world. A person may act and choose and vote based on his or her faith, but that does not mean that God always supports that person's cause. He is much bigger than that.
If WDJC can't be fair and objective, then it shouldn't cover politics at all. Just keep playing the music, promoting concerts, and giving out t-shirts as prizes for stupid games. Don't promote an agenda, don't tell people what to think. Let us pray and talk and decide on our own. Being at the head of a mass media company is a powerful position to hold.
So stop abusing it.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
So I hear Canada's nice this time of year...
Right now my clock says 10:33 am on Wednesday, November 5, 2008. Next to me, laying on my bed, is a copy of The Birmingham News with a giant portrait of Barack Obama and a headline in giant, bold letters that say "OBAMA WINS." This is sort of the moment I've been waiting for, ever since I made my decision to support the Illinois Senator back in the spring, voted for him over Hillary Clinton on Super Tuesday, and finally cast my ballot yesterday at the local town hall.
Last night, after most of the votes were in, I watched John McCain give his concession speech. I thought it was a great speech. I thought that the way the senator carried himself was remarkable in light of the circumstances. He showed dignity, respect, and humility. He quieted the crowd, whiched booed at the very mention of Barack Obama's name. He admitted to mistakes, taking all the blame on himself, even though it wasn't really his fault he lost. He made no attempt to show any kind of bitterness, selfishness, or anger. And he did his best to promote national unity after a long election process that got ugly at several points. Even though he lost the election, I am glad that John McCain still has a place in the Senate.
Now, just hours after Obama has been declared the President-Elect, and I've seen what some of John McCain's supporters are saying, I have come to the conclusion that all these people didn't vote for John McCain so much as they voted against Barack Obama. A person would almost think that this is the end of America from what many people are saying. All of a sudden gay people are going to run rampant in the streets, terrorists are going to invade our "weak" country, faith and morality will cease to exist, communism will make a comeback, and a turban-wearing President Obama will declare himself dictator and fly his dragon through the night sky of Washington D.C.
Now that I think about it, no one has told me why they like John McCain. It has all been about why they don't like Obama. And most of the time it hasn't been about policy. It's been things like, "I just don't trust him" or "He is way too liberal" or (my favorite) "You can't be a Christian and vote for Obama." (Well I can, and I just did.) Rather than stating what good John McCain can do for this country, people have just been stirring up fear of how Barack Obama is going to trash it. Not only is that insulting to Obama, but it is unfair to John McCain.
I am glad that when I cast my ballot yesterday, I actually voted for somebody. I can safely say that I wasn't motivated by fear, by the illusion that the other guy is inherently evil. It is my honest belief that Barack Obama is going to make the United States a much better country. Instead of being an international bully, we will become a nation that champions justice and rational decision making when it comes to war. Instead of being a polarized society with an enormous gap between the poor and the wealthy, we will be a country of opportunity.
All the rest of you, enjoy your time in Canada, or Italy, or wherever else you claim that you're moving to.
Last night, after most of the votes were in, I watched John McCain give his concession speech. I thought it was a great speech. I thought that the way the senator carried himself was remarkable in light of the circumstances. He showed dignity, respect, and humility. He quieted the crowd, whiched booed at the very mention of Barack Obama's name. He admitted to mistakes, taking all the blame on himself, even though it wasn't really his fault he lost. He made no attempt to show any kind of bitterness, selfishness, or anger. And he did his best to promote national unity after a long election process that got ugly at several points. Even though he lost the election, I am glad that John McCain still has a place in the Senate.
Now, just hours after Obama has been declared the President-Elect, and I've seen what some of John McCain's supporters are saying, I have come to the conclusion that all these people didn't vote for John McCain so much as they voted against Barack Obama. A person would almost think that this is the end of America from what many people are saying. All of a sudden gay people are going to run rampant in the streets, terrorists are going to invade our "weak" country, faith and morality will cease to exist, communism will make a comeback, and a turban-wearing President Obama will declare himself dictator and fly his dragon through the night sky of Washington D.C.
Now that I think about it, no one has told me why they like John McCain. It has all been about why they don't like Obama. And most of the time it hasn't been about policy. It's been things like, "I just don't trust him" or "He is way too liberal" or (my favorite) "You can't be a Christian and vote for Obama." (Well I can, and I just did.) Rather than stating what good John McCain can do for this country, people have just been stirring up fear of how Barack Obama is going to trash it. Not only is that insulting to Obama, but it is unfair to John McCain.
I am glad that when I cast my ballot yesterday, I actually voted for somebody. I can safely say that I wasn't motivated by fear, by the illusion that the other guy is inherently evil. It is my honest belief that Barack Obama is going to make the United States a much better country. Instead of being an international bully, we will become a nation that champions justice and rational decision making when it comes to war. Instead of being a polarized society with an enormous gap between the poor and the wealthy, we will be a country of opportunity.
All the rest of you, enjoy your time in Canada, or Italy, or wherever else you claim that you're moving to.
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